I'm playing D&D

 

I’ve always been into the idea of playing Dungeons and Dragons. I haven’t always had the best luck finding others to play with.

I recall my first time trying to play Dungeons and Dragons being a letdown. I was in fourth, maybe fifth grade. Sarah, the neighbor in my apartment complex up the street, had an older brother, Dustin. Looking back, for the younger kids like me, he was seen as cool, as someone his age, he was probably seen as the kid who hides in the girls' locker room, hoping those peepholes in the shower were a real thing. I say that as a guy who has probably had that said about him from time to time.

I say I remember the first time I tried to play because we did not get very far in this endeavor. One day my brother Royce and I went over to Sarah’s house. Her brother Dustin was there, and he decided that he had found his group.

At the outset, this had to look like a foolproof plan. Finally, this guy, who had in all likelihood been reading about Dungeons and Dragons for some time, had found a group of people in his younger sister’s friends that he could manipulate into playing this game. I say that because nearly two decades later, I would use the same trick with a group of younger kids I befriended.

By this time in my life, I had heard about Dungeons and Dragons, but only in broad-stroke terms. I had seen a couple of cartoons rip off the concepts of collaborative storytelling. So while I had not played D&D, I was familiar enough with the idea and concepts of the game.


My dad, who is not a nerd in any way, was a big fan of The Hobbit. I was allowed to watch the cartoon adaptation of the movie, which became a cornerstone of my childhood. Earlier in that year, I had finally read the novel, something that I still consider to be the first “adult” book I read. I wasn’t familiar with Lord of the Rings yet, but I loved The Hobbit. I was sold on the idea of playing a Hobbit, calling them that instead of halflings, as I thought the term halfling was a knockoff of Hobbit.

We began to make characters. If I were in fifth grade, that would make Dustin’s sister Sarah also in fifth grade, and it would put my brother Royce, at best, in third grade. So this middle schooler was hoping to convince two eleven-year-olds and one of their nine-year-old siblings to make characters and play D&D. Knowing what I know now, if this campaign had gotten off the ground, I can’t imagine what kind of game this would have become. This would have to be the worst group composition I’ve ever come across.

We sat around for the next hour or so making characters before my brother and I had to head home for dinner. When we got home, our mom asked us the normal questions. How was playing? How’s Sarah doing? Did we enjoy making the required human sacrifice to satan before you can play your devil-worshipping game? All the typical questions. My dad overheard me mentioning Dungeons and Dragons and it lit a fire under him. “Absolutely not.”

When asked why, my dad explained that back in his day, people would play that game, and they would become so attached to their characters that if that character died while playing the game, it would cause the player to go crazy and kill themselves. Now, I couldn’t find a single example of that happening. But when you’re eleven years old, that sounds crazy.

Look, I am the firstborn kid, so I listened to my parents. I didn’t know any better, and I certainly wasn’t going to question my parents for at least another couple of years, so that was the end of it. Dustin never brought up playing the next day, so it became quickly forgotten. And just like that, my first time playing Dungeons and Dragons didn’t happen, and wouldn’t for nearly another decade.



I didn’t let the idea of playing die. Instead, the next time my mom took me to Barnes and Noble, I tried to get her to buy me a player’s handbook. But even there I fumbled. I couldn’t find one, instead opting for a different TTRPG, I think it was a Wheel of Time based RPG.

I read that book cover to cover, knew everything about the rules and how to play. Except how to actually play. I had watched tv shows, and read books about table top rpgs, but still had yet to play in one.

A few years later, my best friend Jay discovered a local comic book and collectible card game store, Dave’s Clubhouse. For the rest of our school days we hung out at Dave’s. We were always were under the impression that it was run by a man named Dave who was into board games. Dave even showed up at his own store from time to time. Sure, there was also the meanest old asian lady I’ve ever seen, who was there almost every day. She would never help you get the Magic card boxes down to go through, and she always complained about the mess kids made in the store.

But everyone else there was the best. I gained a love of comics from Dave’s Clubhouse. Brian, the normal employee, was the absolute best. Always showed people how to play games or talked about anything pop culture. He was the chill comic book dude that everyone knew and loved.

I don’t know how Jay got involved. In the summer, my family was constantly out of town. We would go on vacation, or one of the numerous camps my parents made me and my siblings attend, or visit family. We just were never home in the summer. Jay had spent his entire summer at Dave’s, where he was taught the dark arts of Dungeons and Dragons. I came back, he told me about it, I was jealous.

That’s how the rest of high school was for me. Jay slowly hung out with those guys more and more, less with me. I started hanging out with a different group of people. We still hung out, but I was now in with a different set of people who were not into D&D.

Then one summer, I think it was the summer after my second year in college, Jay hit me up. He asked if I wanted to play D&D with him and some friends that summer. I jumped at the chance. At the time they were playing Pathfinder, a rule set I knew some about, it was a derivative of D&D 3.5, so once I picked up a rule book I didn’t have a huge hill to learn the system.

The group also had little room for someone who was new and didn’t know the rules. I would spend my free time reading up on the rules leading up to playing; I didn’t want to hold the group back because I didn’t know how to play.

Overall the group was a blast. I had a lot of fun, and it scratched the itch I was looking for years ago. But that was one summer.

I tried, with little luck, to find a game to join. By the time D&D 5th edition was released, I had been married for a few years and was once again looking to scratch the itch. But not having a group to play with was the challenge. I picked up the new rule book and started reading.

I have found that 5th edition has been the easiest system to get into, the rules are straightforward, but it also has the best system to try and share with others. Teaching my wife and others I know how to play has been easier than I would have thought.

Instead of finding a group I figured I would make my own. I found a group of kids at my church that my wife and I had befriended and they seemed interested enough in playing, so we did. Over the course of a few years we played on and off, following a premade adventure path.

It worked, but like all things it eventually came to an end.

A few years ago, I decided I wanted to play more than just once in a blue moon, and so I put a group together with my wife, her coworker, her boyfriend. I then convinced a mutual friend of my wife’s and mine, a guy who played with us a few years back, to join us too. I ran this campaign for four people for about a year. We took a break while my wife and I moved and then once we were settled in we brought the group back. Our mutual friend left by this point, but we did manage to find another couple that wanted to play.

The best part has been the addition of Jonathan. He has experience running games and wanted to run one for us. We took him up on the offer, but after a few months, it came back to me running a game.

I don’t mind running games. I think I may even like it more than playing in them. But I feel like I am always stuck running a game.

I spent free time on a few Dungeons and Dragons group finder pages on Facebook. I hate Facebook, but I don’t know any other place that has more people online looking to put groups together. That’s where I found Jessey, a guy in a similar circumstance.

And that’s where I am now. I have just joined this group, we had a one-shot adventure where we played a little over the course of a few weeks, and have just finished our session 0 for the campaign proper.